It’s Monday, 9:01 a.m. I’m sitting in my office, feet up on the desk. I may look like I am doing nothing, but I’m actually thinking, and thinking hard, about which author’s book will get my attention first. The phone rings. Caller ID tells me which author it is. I ignore the call and let it go into voicemail. The phone rings again. Another author. Another ignored phone call. The phone rings a third time. I grab the receiver. Why? It’s my favorite author, Publisher’s Pet!

Teacher’s pet. Publisher’s pet. It’s a good thing.

No one gets more of my attention than an author who can help me do my job and make me look good doing it. I’m crazy about authors who can write well, understand marketing and sales, and will roll up their sleeves to promote “our” book.   

I want a well-thought-out marketing plan attached to every book I have to launch, and I want it to come from the author, who should know his market even better than I do. Yes, authors fill out an Author’s Questionnaire, but these forms are rarely taken seriously and are often ignored. The marketing plan is as important as the quality of the book. Actually, with a great marketing plan an awful book can succeed! People will buy it, though they may not finish it! (I’m thinking Nabokov’s Ada, but feel free to disagree. I just don’t want to hear it!)

Last week I sat in on a writers workshop and listened to members read excerpts from their previous week’s writing. One aspiring writer had completed a lengthy, turn-of-the-century novel and was fine-tuning it by reading it out loud to the group before trying to find an agent. I talked to her about some of the critical sales tools she might use to separate her from the pack: the upbeat covering letter, exciting book outline, and smart marketing plan that would accompany sample chapters of her book. It never occurred to her to develop a marketing plan. Big mistake. And good luck finding an agent.

Unsolicited manuscripts “in them thar hills” of the slush pile may well get a serious read if you attach a marketing plan that proves you know your market and how to reach it with your book. Otherwise, the reader, associate editor, acquisitions editor or agent will just get another paper cut while shoving your manuscript into the self-addressed, stamped return envelope.

I’m good at sussing out a market and moving books, but I’m even better and faster with a helpful author who has taken the time to understand the book’s market (fiction or nonfiction), supplied me with every idea, from the harebrained to the brilliant, that he has, and then sat down to work with me, side-by-side, to combine my harebrained and brilliant ideas with his into a primo marketing plan virtually destined to bust through the competition.

But to really lock in the position of Publisher’s Pet, I want a proactive author. (Not a pest, asking me what I’ve done lately to promote his or her book and why I haven’t sent a copy to a friend of a friend who works in publishing.) I want someone “out there,” flogging the book with me, implementing those parts of the marketing plan to which he has committed and sustaining the effort.

James Brady, columnist and author of The Scariest Place in the World and The Marines of Autumn, gets it. We bumped grocery carts in Amagasett last summer and chatted. This author never, ever stops promoting his books. In a telephone conversation we once had, he told me ”flogging” his book came first.

William Hood, coauthor of A Look Over My Shoulder–A Life in the CIA, doesn’t get it. He’d been away for months, and I had assumed he was promoting his and the late Richard Helm’s book. Smart, I thought, but no, he had been summering in Maine. Bill told me he left the publicity entirely up to the publisher. Not smart, I thought.

Rigel Crockett, first-time author who wrote Fair Wind and Plenty of It, a memoir about working on a tall ship as it circumnavigated the globe, sort of got it. He booked himself on his own speaking tour at places like The Explorers Club and Mystic Seaport, but was hesitant to ask his publishing house for reimbursement of some of his expenses. After we spoke, Rigel went back to the publisher, and sure enough, the publishing house found a few pennies to help cover his expenses. 

Sandy Jones, coauthor with Marci Jones of Great Expectations–Your All-in-One Resource for Pregnancy & Childbirth, gets it. She supplied me with well-thought-out marketing plans that included an analysis of her competition, lists of doulas, ob-gyns, associations, and radio and TV shows specializing in family issues. She targeted major companies manufacturing baby products and became a consultant. While Sandy was busy pitching in, I got her a multipage spread in Fit Pregnancy and a massive commitment for content exposure and links to Barnesandnoble.com on Ivillage.com, the #1 women’s network with “25 million unique viewers each quarter.” Sandy, my Publisher’s Pet.

When Publisher’s Pet calls, I reach for the phone every time. Pronto.

Posted by: Lynne Scanlon

Lawrence LaRose neatly ducked a question thrown at him today while he gave a talk about his 2004 book Gutted—Down to the Studs in My House, My Marriage, My Entire Life at the Rogers Memorial Library in Southampton, New York.

He was asked how well the book was doing. Amazingly he didn’t blink. He didn’t get dodgy-eyed.

Gutted is selling as a used book on Amazon for $1.23.

LaRose’s 1996 book, The Code: Time-Tested Secrets for Getting What You Want from Women–Without Marrying Them, is selling on Amazon for $.30.

He wanted $20 for the hardcover version of Gutted, a few copies of which were available on a table nearby. I offered him $10. He said: ”But you’re an author, too.” (Like I’m supposed to show some sympathy.) I pointed out to him that I could buy the book for $1.23 online! Sold: $10.00!

Cruel and heartless though I may be toward a fellow author, I know he is just learning a lesson that I learned a long time ago—and moved over into the business side of publishing. The retail price of a book is meaningless. There is no money in publishing for the vast majority of authors. Having a book sell more than 100,000 copies is as “difficult as making an NBA team” I read somewhere, and I believe it. My titles sold very well – over 600,000 copies. Maybe his first book did, too, since he smartly spoofed and rode the coattails of The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right on the publicity circuit and onto a sofa beside Oprah. But just because you sell tens of thousands of copies or even hundreds of thousands of copies, doesn’t mean the big checks will roll in for the author. Not like they do for the publishing house. Read the contract.

What’s an advance against royalties, really? It’s a loan. Something you have to “pay back” calculated on your paltry royalties before you see a dime more. Yes, there is the possibility that enough copies will be sold at high enough prices and you’ll receive the maximum royalty, and you may actually manage to “pay back” that loan, but the likelihood is slim, slim, slim. And that’s the way publishers like it. The contract is designed to fill the coffers of the publishing house, not the polka-dotted, porcelain piggy bank of the author.

Here’s what I recommend for authors today. Don’t accept an advance against royalties. (Yippee! A $100,000 advance against royalties! OK, make it $10,000.) Surprise! It’s doled out upon signing the contract, turning in an “approved” manuscript, being published, and (horrors!) reaching the six-month mark after the pub date if the publishing house can get away with it. Get a check upfront as payment in full, and get as much as you can. Say the magic words “work for hire.” Then make them pay more than the advance they intended to pay because a work-for-hire contract relieves them of that much-hated task of figuring out how much (actually, how little) they can owe you.  

Determining royalties is a matter of interpreting the contract – which is done in favor of the publishing house, naturally. Money you have in your hand today is worth much more than money tomorrow. By the way, the size of the check you are offered will indicate the kind of support your book will get.

Let the publishers do what they want with the book. Give it away, make it a loss leader for another book, sell ads in it, slash the price, ignore it, remainder it. Once you’ve got your money, you can spend it, save it, invest it and get on with your next book. You won’t have to worry about losing your book’s champion when the editor changes publishing houses, you won’t have to sweat the contract clauses that take that dollar you would have earned for each book sold and reduce it to $.15, you won’t have to worry about your “intellectual property rights.” You’ll know what you have. Period. You’ll no longer be a pathetic figure waiting at the end of the driveway in a blizzard, hopping up and down in the cold, waiting for the postman to drive up and hand you that slim white envelope from your publishing company. You’ll be out of the publishing crapshoot.  

Posted by: Lynne Scanlon

I've been howling for years about the spinelessness of the US book publishing industry when it comes to "returns" from bookstores. US books are not "sold" to bookstores; US books are essentially on consignment at US bookstores.

My nonfiction books have sold in excess of 600,000 (count 'em) copies. Yet, that is a bogus figure because, according to industry statistics, 40% of my books that were "sold" to bookstores were actually returned by the bookstores. In other words my books have shipped a lot more than 600,000 copies!

I have a "reversal of rights" for all my now long-out-of-print books, yet for years my publishers (HarperCollins, St. Martin's Press, Berkley Books) kept accepting copies back from the bookstores.

"Reserve against returns," that nasty little clause in contracts to which authors have to agree, assures that even moderately successful writers will have to keep eating rice out of the back of the cabinets while knowing that the publishing house is holding back cold hard cash.

Why can't the US be more like New Zealand?

Richard Charkin, former CEO of Macmillan Limited London, visited New Zealand bookstores, and when he returned to the UK, he wrote in his blog:

"When a bookshop orders a book, the responsibility for selling it is theirs. If it does not sell, the cost of the mistake belongs to the bookseller not to the author."

"Are there millions of unsold books washing around New Zealand bookshops? No. Booksellers have had to develop a sense of their market and they have - New Zealand booksellers are the best in the world and they sell the most books per head in the English-speaking world."

What's the message here?

Are publishers so intimidated by the major chains like Barnes & Noble, Booksamillion, and Borders Books and the independent bookstores that publishers can't find the spine to say: Too late! You bought 'em. You keep 'em. You sell 'em.

What does the vendor contract say about the date after which books may not be returned? Who is looking the other way when these books are allowed in the back door of the distribution centers?

I remember calling my editor and asking why in the world my books were being returned years after they had shipped. The answer I got was "that's the way it is."

Stop it! Stop it and bookstores will pick books more judiciously. Stop it and the publishing industry will begin a long-needed self-correction.

As an author, I'd much rather know a royalty due is a royalty paid. As a publisher, I'd much rather know a sale is a sale.

Posted by: Lynne Scanlon

The Perturbed Publicist, Fourth and Final: “What are we here for anyway?”

For the past three weeks, I’ve covered a number of the business aspects of publishing. There are many, many things that you’ve got to do to survive in this industry, and I’ve seen the writer’s frustration that comes along with keeping your head above water. There’s an inherent danger in the publicity game, though—so many authors start working so hard on their own publicity that they forget about what it is they were made to do in the first place.

Uh…write.

Remember? The thing you love? The thing you were born for? The thing that got you into this cutthroat industry in the first place? Writing. I’ve been writing in one form or another since I was in the seventh grade. Granted, at the time, it was terrible stuff, but I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. I wrote in high school; it got better. I wrote in college; it got much better. I’ve been writing as a so-called “adult” ever since graduation four years ago, and I continue to grow, day by day. Practice makes perfect. Patience makes perfect, too—patience in yourself and patience in this industry.

I’ve had clients try to give up. They’ve been writing for years, and they have yet to make it on Oprah. They threaten to go back to the office job. They say things like, “Maybe writing isn’t for me. Maybe I just can’t do this anymore.” I want to smack these people, because I know a decision like this will haunt them someday. Writers are made to be writers, and you can’t escape that, no matter how frustrated you become and no matter how many rejection letters you receive. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Fight it all you want, but you are a writer. You will always be a writer, so save me the sob story and just admit it. What do I do to fight the writing blues? Let me give you a glimpse into Sara Dobie, Writer, instead of simply Sara Dobie, Publicist….

1)

Watch Wonder Boys. I realize Wonder Boys was originally a book by the ever-eccentric Michael Chabon. I realize it’s quite a good book, in fact. However, it’s the movie that gets me in the writing mood. It’s the story of Professor Grady Tripp—a once successful author who hasn’t had a new book in seven years. He’s writing, though. It’s a book he can’t finish, and it takes a catastrophe of comic proportions to get him back on the right track. This film makes me want to write because it reminds me why we write. We write because, in Grady’s words, we just can’t stop. I dare you to try and make it through this entire film without picking up a pen and paper. I dare you to stay away from your computer for a full twenty minutes after the final credits have rolled. Whenever you feel frustrated and bored with your art, watch this film, and feel the invigoration of words waiting to be put on the page.

2)

Study On Writing, by Stephen King. “Writing is not life, but it can sometimes bring you back to life,” says the brutally honest King in his study of the storytelling craft. Speaking from personal experience, I could not agree more. King wrote this memoir of sorts after being hit by a van—an accident that almost took his life and put the serious stuff in perspective. There is technical advice in this semi-autobiography, but it sometimes reads more like a love letter than an academic manual. To whom is the letter addressed? Why to WRITING, of course. On Writing will take you a bit longer than the two hours it takes to watch a film, but it’s time well spent. It’s like bringing out the big guns, when you’re horribly blocked or just horribly irritated with the last chapter of your new novel. I own a copy because of the notes I took, and it’s safe to say that most writers should. (Your library won’t appreciate you bleeding red ink on their property.) Plus, you may need to go back to the book often. If you’re a writer, there will always be the threat of a block. There will always be irritation, so why not keep your big guns around for the really rough days?

3)

Read something awful. This is the meanest of my three go-to fix-alls for bad writing days, but I tell you, it works wonders. Read something terrible. I have some favorites, but I feel like this may be more personal. For instance, if I really want to get myself riled up about the state of literature, I’ll skim The Da Vinci Code. The short chapters and constant cliffhangers make me giggle, and they also make me want to do a better job than good old best-selling Brown boy. It makes me want to sit down and write a book that will blow his out of the water—not in sales, but in quality. A book I write will never beat his numbers, but I can blow him out of the water in craft. Suggestions for you? Check out bad blogs—there are plenty of them nowadays, owned and operated by bad writers who think they’re good. Another personal favorite? Go to ESPN.com and read the message boards. I have never seen such atrocious grammar or sentence structure in my life, and it’ll make you want to be the next Proust with the 3200-page Remembrance of Things Past. Writer’s block? What writer’s block?

With that, I leave you to it. Be your own publicist, but first and foremost, please be your own writer. We’re in this industry because we love it. We’re writers because we love it. It’s frustrating, it’s hard, and it’s what we do. It’s what we will always do, because you can’t run from your passion—it will catch up with you eventually.

Posted by: Sara Dobie

"But I'm not newsworthy!"

Yes, you are.

You have a book, and how many people can say the same? You're a writer, and it's totally cool; so why shouldn't people hear about it? Why shouldn't they know all about you? This does not mean you should tell strangers what you had for breakfast, and it does not mean you should tell your editor about the fight you had with your significant other. It does mean that you need a newsletter, and this opportunity for free publicity is not something to fear. I'm going to make it easy on you. At my office, I put together a company newsletter once every two months. You may wonder, "How does she do it?" Or better yet, "How does she actually enjoy it?" It's simple! Once you learn the tricks, you'll be a master of the lost art of newsworthy newsletters.

1)    The dreaded CONTACT LIST: Why spend the time on a newsletter if you have nowhere to send it? I'm sure your family will want to see it, but your family can only buy so many copies of your book before going broke. A good contact list takes time to develop, and it should never stop growing. It should be all over the spectrum, covering every base in every industry. What kind of spectrum am I talking about? Start simple, with your author friends. You're all writers, so you can all enjoy reading about what you have in common…writing! Next, go into media territory. Is there a certain reporter at your local paper who covered your book release? What about a television anchor who showed up at one of your events? These are the people to get on your contact list. Something in your newsletter may catch their eye, and little lucky you will be all over the news again. Then, there are educators. Did you do a school visit recently? Add the school media specialist and principal to your list. Are there locally owned book and gift shops in your backyard? They should be on the list, too! Then, there's your publisher's publicist. They should know what's going on, and finally, yes, keep your family and friends on the list. Why not? They have to love you, right?

2)    It's all about TIMING. A newsletter should not be once a week. It should not even be once a month. I say stick to bi-monthly. Don't be annoying. I mean, seriously, how much could really happen in a month? You don't want people to start blocking your emails, simply because they're irritated. Plus, it will build a sort of anticipation as the two-month time span nears conclusion. Your friends will start asking about your newsletter, and if you're lucky, so will bookstores owners and educators.

3)    It's about SAVING MONEY. It should go without saying, but just in case….this newsletter of yours….it should be sent by email only. In this tech-savvy age, if someone doesn't have email (okay, make an exception for your grandmother), forget about it. You cannot afford printing and postage costs, so just don't go there. Email. Email. Email. Also, post your newsletter on your website. (YOU HAVE A WEBSITE NOW, DON'T YOU?! Yeah, that's what I thought!) Look into a program like Microsoft Publisher, which actually has a newsletter template for you to use! Publisher can easily be turned into a PDF file, which is what format you should use to post the newsletter on your site.

4)    Use your FRIENDS (in a good way): You have friends in the industry. It's hard not to, once you're published. You have editor, publisher, reporter, and writer friends. Use their expertise to spice up your newsletter. Solicit them for information and quotes. Ask them to write articles. Not only does their wisdom help others, but it also gives them free exposure. It's a win-win scenario, and it endears you to your readers. And how about when your friend's new novel garners an award or a rave review? Mention it in your newsletter! Why not? We're all here to help each other, right? (Of course, if your book happens to get a similar award or rave review, that should be front and center! After all, it is your newsletter.)

5)    Don't fear PHOTOS: You should always be taking pictures at signings, school visits, and presentations. It puts a face by the name. It gives you the appearance of being friendly, even if you aren't. Put those photos in your newsletter. It's kind of like a kid with a picture book. Sure, they like the story, but they're really there for talking animals and rainbows. The same is true of most adults. We like photos alongside news stories, because those photos make the stories pop. The photos give us a visual, and even though your wealth is based in words, you're still a human being. So don't be afraid of putting a face beside your name. Now that you have a starting point, get to work, and make your own newsletter that is truly newsworthy.

Posted by: Sara Dobie

Did you know that my neighbor has written a novel?

Well, neither did I, until she found out what I did for a living. Now, I’m no longer the annoying woman from Ohio who laughs too loud at stupid comedies and listens to talk radio while getting ready for work everyday. Now, I’m “in publishing.” Now, I get fresh baked cookies on weekends and courteous inquiries about my job. And I know what’s coming—in two weeks, she’ll finally get up the guts to ask me to look at her manuscript, and I will politely decline, saying farewell forever to fresh baked dessert.

It’s not that I don’t want to discover the next James Patterson. It’s not that I’m jaded or an eternal skeptic. It’s just that, in regards to manuscripts, I am powerless. That does not mean that you, as a prospective New York Times bestselling author, need to be powerless, as well. There are tricks to the trade that give you the edge, and it all comes down to one word: research.

1)  Know the PERSON: What on earth would possess someone to send a manuscript to a public relations manager? I have no idea, but it happens all the time. I’ve gotten emails, letters, and phone calls from authors pitching their ideas to me. While I appreciate their passion for the project, there is nothing I can do for them. It wastes their time, and it wastes my time, too. If they would take but a few moments to visit our company website, they would find the name and contact information for our editor. So do it! Then, once you have the name of that all-powerful editor, kindly use it in your communications. Perhaps, when irritable, I may call coworkers by their titles (“Hey, gift shop sales!”), but it’s not very friendly. If you can find a name, use it. If an editor’s name is used often in reference to a certain publishing house, be absolutely sure to use it. Otherwise, we’ll know you didn’t do your research. You don’t know us; we don’t want to know you. Which brings me to number two…

2)  Know the PUBLISHER: This very morning, I listened to my office manager on the telephone in her office. In her lovely, personable voice, she struck up a conversation with the disembodied voice on the other side of the line. It became evident to me that the voice on the line had not done his research. He had, however, gone into his pitch—a nice sales tactic, but even in sales, you need to know your customer. This man was pitching a full-length memoir to my office manager, and we only publish children's picture books. Not only did he not know our editor, but he didn’t even know us. It would have been more useful for him to pitch his personal banker than our office manager. It comes back to research. Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, you have to take the time to investigate your options. I know you’re excited that your book is finished. You want to shout from the rooftops and start sending, sending, sending. However, this will get you nowhere if you don’t know where to send! You should start with The Writer’s Market, otherwise known as the Publishing BIBLE. (It’s available in paperback and in an online format, although purchase is necessary, either way.) Buy the newest version, and get to work. Here, you will find publishers listed with full company details, including website addresses. (For children’s book publishing, check out the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, too!) Once you’ve made your Writer’s Market list of prospective publishers, keep the research going. Visit their websites. In this electronic age, websites are going to have the most up to date information. There, you will be able to find the names of editors and usually manuscript submission guidelines. Know your prospective publishers. If you’re lucky, you may be in business with one of them for a while, so don’t tie yourself to a sinking ship.

3)   Know YOURSELF: By yourself, I am of course referring to your manuscript, which in turn directly relates to your query letter. Don’t groan. I know we all hate query letters. There are about a million articles and websites about writing the perfect query letter, and you should do some research in this arena. However, no amount of research is going to write your query letter for you. You have to be a researcher, but you also have to be a writer. Some tips from the battlefront?

•  Okay. Let’s talk etiquette first. It may seem simple, but make sure your letter and manuscript are in good shape. DO NOT submit a manuscript with a coffee stain. It’ll be in the trash before you can say, “slush pile.”

•  When you submit your query letter, DO enclose an SASE—Self Addressed Stamped Envelope—when using snail mail. It’s common courtesy, and we’ll take it as lack of professionalism if you forget. It all goes back to following directions! And DO NOT always expect a response.

•  If your book includes illustrations or photographs, DO NOT tell the editor what those illustrations or photographs should look like. The editor is not interested in the artistic process; the editor is interested in your manuscript, and the only thing touched upon in your query should be your manuscript. You are the writer, not the designer.

•  Finally, publishing may be a creative industry, but it is still a professional industry. DO NOT include personal information in your query letter unless it has direct bearing on your qualifications to write your manuscript. Editors don’t want to hear about your pets or your offspring who don’t treat you with respect. We don’t want to hear about all your other manuscript rejection letters, and trying to make us feel guilty will not up your chances of acceptance. Instead, you’ll just tick us off, and we do not want to work with an author who will just tick us off. Do your research! If you respect the process, the process will respect you!

Posted by: Sara Dobie